That’s why I slept with a married man and what I learned
Although some women who sleep with married men end up feeling feelings for them and want to have “normal” relationships, this connection does not always go to this stage. The usual driving forces of a novel with a married man are a forbidden fruit, a taboo that excites women to extremes, as they are attracted to those who are inaccessible. From enjoying sex without attachment to simple love, women shared their stories about why they slept with married men and what it taught them:
Regina, 28 years old:
“Previously, I worked as a marketing manager, and then changed my profession and hit the show business, becoming a musician. I met Him about a year and a half ago, when a friend of mine asked me to play keyboards in his new band, and this man was a bassist in it.
He attracted me with his sparkling humor, special charm and style, generosity, kindness, caring, creative mind and artistic nature, not to mention enterprise and ingenuity. Clear chemistry arose between us, but I was embarrassed about his status as a married man, but he assured me that he and his wife had a relationship “Do not ask – do not say”. I asked him to tell her about me several times, but he did not have the courage. Finally, I gave in and took his word for it.
When we spent time together, it was mostly in parks outside the city or in our practice studio, in which we recorded music for several months. I liked that in our relationship there was no such pressure as ordinary couples, and this allowed us to forget ourselves in sex. But at the same time, in his arms, I felt terrible, as if he were ashamed of me or of us.
When he finally told her about me, she did not like it terribly. Our relationship with him ended badly. He said that I should not look for him, and since then I have not seen him. Almost a year has passed. I still feel guilty about my romance with a married man, although I am currently in a relationship with a free man, and very happy.
As for the stereotype of the “razluchnitsy”, I consider it incorrect. Each such situation is much more subtle than it seems. Of course, some people can get involved in such adventures not with better intentions, but I believe that there are not enough of them. I think that these women sincerely believe that they can get out of this situation without hurting anyone, and they really care not only about the husband but about his family.
Christina, 27 years old:
“We met on my business trip about three years ago. He was my mentor and helped me at work. Very few knew that he was married, he never wore an engagement ring.
He is a pronounced alpha male. He is intelligent, bold and self-confident. He is also ten years older than me, which made me look at him. At work, he complimented my performances, which allowed me to feel more competent. I felt safe with him. Our relationship has turned from a friendly to a romantic one.
After our first kiss, he told me that he was married. I could not believe it, because all this time we spent together. He began to explain that she disrespected him, and I felt sorry for him. I rationalized his wife. There were times when I felt that it was wrong, but the line was already crossed. He brought me to the house where he lived with his wife (she left), and this confused me. I saw evidence of their scandals (holes in the wall, broken railings), and just wanted to take care of it.
His inaccessibility – that’s what aroused me, as well as the risk of this whole event. But, on the other hand, I was upset that we could not do the usual things. I met some of his friends, but he never wanted to meet with me.
It all ended when I realized that everything he blamed on his wife, he did himself. He verbally, mentally and emotionally insulted me. He almost hit me on the face once during a disagreement, but I stopped him, and he began to cry. He drank too much, and when that happened, all he wanted to do was to make a quarrel. It took me a while to realize that he was crazy.
Eventually, I broke up with him, and then again came together when he apologized, only to get back on the “debriefing” a week after the reconciliation. I realized that his ego was hurt, when I said that I do not want to be with him, so he made up with me to leave me, so that the last word was left for him.
After we broke up, he tried to correct the situation with his wife, but nothing happened, and I think he very quickly realized that no sensible woman can cope with his inflated ego and how little he gives in return. I can not stand him, and he’s a constant reminder of all the mistakes I’ve made, and how low my self-esteem was, that I’ve endured him so long. “